Shhhh. Listen carefully. Do you hear that?
I do. It’s the sound (or silence) of all who come onto our radar showing us who they are. Or aren’t. So listen with intent and listen carefully.
Observing to understand. Not to judge.
Recently while in conversation with someone I thought I’d one day know, I’d mentioned that if you really want to know a person, simply observe how that person spends his or her time. Words are cheap; in fact they’re free, and money can be replaced. But time- each moment in time is here and then forever gone in the blink of an eye. It’s all we have. What we do with our time is who we are.
We often say we “don’t have time” for something, however that’s somewhat of a stretch. Maybe even a copout at times, whether intentional or not. We all have the same 24 hours in each day. How we spend this time is a direct reflection of our priorities and therefore who we are being.
When we stop listening to respond and instead approach with intent to learn, we end up with a more accurate understanding of others. And when we observe the alignment of our own words, energy, and actions we gain a better understanding of ourselves as well.
I have often found myself inadvertently observing with the intent to find what I wanted to find, rather than observing to learn- thereby drastically skewing my own reality of who people are. At times I have thoroughly convinced myself that others were someone that they clearly were not, leaving myself conflicted, confused, or disappointed when they weren’t aligning with who I expected, wanted, or believed them to be. Or who they said they were. Trying to make the two and two that they were handing me come out to five.
The next time something is not adding up, I hope I remember to heed my own advice. Step back, remove the lens from which I’m viewing, and observe with the sole intent to understand.
Then and only then can I make an informed choice as to how to proceed.
Observation not judgment. Acceptance. Understanding.
Observe to learn.
